Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love and Worth

I love my horse. In high school I used to joke that my boyfriend was a handsome appaloosa gelding. Some things haven’t changed.

But it wasn’t always this way. After struggling to share my beloved lesson horses with dozens of other students during my teenage years, I developed a certain objectivity when it came to working with horses on the job. This distance was how I processed the fact that unsuitable horses were sold, old horses put down, and lesson horses abused by beginners. Though I cared for them and about them, they were ultimately tools in ministry, and had a job to do.

Now I’m unlearning this emotional detachment. Ransom doesn’t earn his keep, in the sense that most other horses I’ve worked with do. Like any other, he’s a money-sucking machine. No, Ransom earns his worth, not his keep. When he nickers at the gate as he sees me walking up the road toward his pasture, I don’t think about the boarding cost. When he tolerantly accepts the kisses planted on his nose, I forget how expensive hay is. When we spend quality time on the trail together, the farrier’s bill seems insignificant.

 It’s finally safe to get emotionally attached. And he’s a keeper.

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